It is the go-to technique for abusers.

They manage the situation by whitewashing the victim's concerns with a coat of "you've misunderstood".

They make the victim feel irrational, maybe even privileged for their good fortune. They present their excuses as reasonable and logical. They pre-emptively manipulate the situation, so it doesn't escape the abuser's control.

A fantastic piece that many can identify with. Thank you for writing it.